Imperfections etched into my being.
Being so afraid of who I am.
Am I always the least of these?
These are the problems I circulate.
Circulate these lies as if they’re true.
True is never true enough to speak.
Speak up before words are forced to stop.
Stop dwelling on all my growing imperfections.
Insignificance is never more than a feeling.
Feeling I’m never quite good enough for you.
You don’t know what spins inside my mind.
Mind you, I never know quite what I’m doing.
Doing far less than I feel that I should be.
Be it so I’m never sure how to make it end.
End this roller coaster of emotion before I faint.
Faint trickles of life slipping out from inside.
Inside I feel far more than my insignificance.
Emotions are only ever pressing me to cry.
Cry out as if someone would care I’m dying.
Dying slowly every second inside I’m alive.
Alive barely enough to label it as such.
Such a shame I’m one of those people.
People never understand what I’m saying.
Saying I should say what I mean and stop lying.
Lying is the only way I can deal with my emotions.
I swear I try my best to be so much more.
More than just some broken mess piled high.
High above my reach is the hope of the hopeless.
Hopeless is such an understatement for me now.
Now I’m falling far too far to even try to save.
Save your breathe for someone who can try.
Try not to look back as you leave me here.
Here where my questions form to “who am I?”
Longing to feel some sort of forgiveness.
Forgiveness seems too far to reach.
Reach farther than feels possible right now.
Now is only a temporary feeling of pain.
Pain never had to stay longer than allowed.
Allowed to forget the past mistakes.
Mistakes that were never meant to form.
Form this desperation for the truth, this longing.
Far behind me I plan to leave these things.
Things I never wanted with me in the first place.
Place the past behind and let it go.
Go far from where they know to live.
Live like every second is meant to be.
Be something greater than how you feel.
Feel the joy of an everlasting enduring hope.
Hope in the One who’s blood has led us far.