It was quiet outside,
No echo through the woods.
Though the wind blew,
And it pushed,
It hadn’t made a sound.

Her body burned inside,
No love for her at all.
She never knew,
How to smile,
How to lift her feet from the ground.

The rain fell patiently,
Then slowly starting to rage.
Thrashing the ground and it’s decor,
Destroying any castles,
Any sculptures made of sand.

Her thoughts paced absently,
Until she heard their taunts.
Their words swept in to make her sore,
Breaking her heart,
As well as the bones that let her stand.

Lightning sped across the sky,
Thunder roared too loudly.
Shaking the ground at it’s impact,
Shattering every child’s sleep,
And causing critters small and large to hide.

Starting only now to cry,
Her broken whimpers filled the room.
She had managed to keep her hope intact,
Until this very pressing moment,
When she let it start to slide.

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About Robin Elizabeth

My name is Robin Elizabeth and I'm 21. I do not create with my own ability, but with the gift God has given me.

38 responses »

  1. Jingle says:

    what a emotional flow,
    crying may be a way to let go..
    lovely job!
    🙂

  2. Jingle says:

    Hope that you take advantage of your free moment, get the visits done…

    the more you read, the more feedback you get,
    when you comment, please include your link…

    have fun!
    I appreciate your participation and hope that you enjoy reading poets.
    🙂

  3. vivinfrance says:

    This is a thoroughly accomplished poem. I’m in awe, specially of the way you use rhythm.

  4. Jamie Dedes says:

    Nice contribution to Rally. Thank you!

    “Lightening speed across the sky
    Thunder roared too loundly”

    Children often overwhelmed by circumstances. Lost! An emtional flow of a poem. I like it.

    My rally poem is here:
    http://musingbymoonlight.com/2010/09/08/baruch-the-baker/

  5. dcwright02 says:

    great poem, thanks for contributing to jingles rally!

    here’s my link as well!
    http://lifeloveandmisery.wordpress.com/2010/09/12/collapse/

  6. hindawy says:

    Nice one 🙂

  7. Caty says:

    sometimes you just need a good cry (or two or three) to let go. This was a great flow of emotional words and well done 🙂

  8. Great job. I like the pace of your poem and we all need a good cry sometimes. Helps cleanse the soul.

  9. Lynn says:

    this is a touching poem, i connected with it on a heart level, letting go can be so painful…

  10. tasithoughts says:

    Your emotional depth is revealed so much in this piece. Brilliant.

  11. great imagery, juxtaposing the ravaging forces of nature with inter turmoil, really brought out the feel for this piece.

  12. C. says:

    nice one. and thank u for visiting my blog 🙂

  13. -D says:

    loved the metaphors. 🙂 it felt like it was about…ME.

  14. Alethea says:

    Crying is sometimes the best thing to do. I loved how you created a vivid image of the surrounding and compared it to her emotions. Very well crafted 🙂

  15. kyoichi says:

    hey, this one sounds like what a friend of mine might be writing right now =]

    thank yo for this nice piece of work.

  16. profound feelings which will never go away
    Let go easy for you to say….

    nicely done

  17. mairmusic says:

    The loss of hope is a terrible thing. The fragility of this is compelling– nicely done!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  18. Chris G. says:

    Tragic, in the flow of emotion, but powerful for it. Such feeling–sometimes tears are the only recourse. Vivid, and well done.

  19. heartspell says:

    strong emotion in this poem… well done. Heartspell

  20. Kavita says:

    Sometimes, when all hope’s gone (at least when you think it’s gone), a little crying really helps! Once those tears are dry, you can get back to freeing yourself from the clutches of fear

    Excellent portrayal of this helplessness and fright! Great flow indeed!

  21. Jingle says:

    Happy Wednesday!
    Thanks for the participation of Thursday Poets Rally week 28.

    Rally week 29 is next Wednesday.

  22. revbillcook says:

    Vivid images Engaging – bill

  23. Lovely and soulful words. The lines

    Her thoughts paced absently,
    Until she heard their taunts.
    Their words swept in to make her sore,
    Breaking her heart,

    in particular moved me.

    Thanks for sharing

  24. Olivia says:

    http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html

    Hello, friend:

    Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
    Thanks in advance.
    Hope to see you in our lovely potluck…

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